Query: My fiancé and I are trying ahead to getting married. However we have run right into a battle regarding funds. Ought to now we have joint or separate checking accounts after we’re married?
Jim: You will hear numerous opinions on this query. In my thoughts, a “yours and mine” mentality is not conducive to a wholesome, comfortable marriage. A husband and spouse should not two individuals who occur to sleep in the identical mattress however lead separate and impartial lives. Marriage is greatest and most fulfilling when you find yourself each all-in and solid your lot collectively — for higher or worse. Sharing your monetary belongings is a crucial a part of sharing life as a complete. And this contains the institution of joint accounts.
Now, there could also be some circumstances that necessitate opening separate accounts for separate issues — for instance, a private enterprise enterprise. However typically, it is best to deal with your funds (and all the things else in life) as a crew. In the event you’re each working, you possibly can put your whole earnings into one account after which agree that you will every obtain an equal share of month-to-month “allowance.” That is the only option to preserve yourselves accountable to at least one one other.
If both of you’re uneasy with this association, you could decide why. If two folks do not feel they’ll belief or must be accountable to at least one one other, they might be well-advised to reevaluate their marriage plans. That is one cause why premarital counseling is so necessary — it lets you achieve readability on such points earlier than you tie the knot.
Now we have loads of sources to assist, together with premarital evaluation instruments, at FocusOnTheFamily.com.
Query: My husband is a former army man — particular forces, the truth is. Ever since his final deployment a couple of years in the past, my children and I’ve been subjected to verbal put-downs, emotional abuse and even threats of bodily violence. I consider he is affected by post-traumatic stress, so I attempt to give him a cross. However the place is the road?